AP - Stockholm. Sources indicate that what was formerly thought of as a "fairy tale" is in fact, true--the moon IS made of green cheese. Scientists have gathered from around the world to attend the We Were Wrong Symposium in Stockholm this week.
"This definitely puts global warming on the back burner," said one scientist. "It changes our entire concept of the universe."
Former astronaut, Neil Armstrong could not be reached for comment, but another unidentified NASA official stated that, "We always believed that the stuff on the moon was crushed rock. Now after further review, it seems that it is in fact, mold."
The powdery substance has long puzzled scientists, but now new information is coming forward after many long years of scientific drought. "You see, the moon is hot on one side, and the other side is a refrigerator," said one NASA official, "perfect conditions for mold to get a hand hold."
Senator Barbara Boxer of California chimed in, "There are doubters, but most of those people don't believe in fairy tales either. I bet they don't even believe the Goldilocks story actually happened." She declined further comment on the issue.
A significant segment of the scientific community, however, doubts the findings. "There are many of these supposed 'scientists'," Yale professor Stewart Pacman said, "who have invested in moon mining companies and other related firms. Funny how these are the same ones who insist that the moon is made of green cheese."
Said another, "Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, our government is going forward with taking steps to mine the moon for cheese. Incredibly stupid, I would think, especially considering those fraudulent e-mails on the matter."
And what about those "fraudulent e-mails"?
It seems that a couple of "green cheese" advocates were caught sending e-mails about trying to fabricate evidence when their science was unable to prove their green cheese theory. Our research has found that scientists Robert Fullerbrush and Dick Amway who wrote the e-mails in question are both heavily invested in "Green Cheese Technologies", a firm devoted to the creation of space mining equipment.
Said Pacman, "They've sold us a bill of goods. Too bad nothing will come of it, but a broken economy."